Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life: WWTFSMD? .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life

Thursday, August 25, 2005


Talk about your intelligent design theories! This one is really saucy. I ran across it in the All Spin Zone, then saw it on MeMo. This taste sensation has been sweeping the spiritual world like a garlic breath of fresh air.

I'm talking about, of course, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Based on "string theory", in which all matter is composed of vibrating "strings" (or "noodles", of you will), that makes up all subatomic particles in the universe, it proclaims that the omnipotent being, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) created man in his own image (i.e. the brain), and that there is observable evidence that the FSM created the universe.

Along with campaigns like "WWTFSMD?" and an impressive merchandising effort (a sure sign of a legitimate religious endeavor), they have petitioned the Kansas Board of Education to include their doctrine in the planned curriculum that includes intelligent design.

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution.

I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design.

I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

Among other beliefs, they express the belief that global warming, excessive hurricane activity, earthquakes and other natural disasters are the direct result of the demise of pirate activity in the past century, as denoted by the chart below.

Believe it or not, they actually received replies from some of the School Board members, as well as plenty of accolades from the scientific community. The movement has really mushroomed (if you'll pardon the pun. Or don't you like shrooms in your spaghetti?)

I'll end with a brief prayer. "O Great and Powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster! Please touch us with your Great Noodly Appendage. Smother us with Your Lovingly Applied Parmesan, and bless those who cannot partake of your Bountiful Feast. Ramen."


  • RAmen brother, the FSM (Sauce be upon Him) is pleased with your work... soon the entire world will feel His noodly appendage touch their hearts.Aaaaaarrr.

    By Anonymous QuasiMolko, at 2:45 AM  

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