October Suprise, number one

So there's this old dude, like, and he likes to email young guys with suggestive things, like, and he's totally creepy, ya know?

Ya already heard the story? Okay, cool. So this guy totally resigns, okay? And then they totally launch an investigation, right? Only it turns out that the old guy digs young guys, right? Razzing the old dude aside, how cool is that?

btw - no way this old dude gets into my inner cricle. But still, these guys scare me. Here I am, willing to give up my summer to "serve my country", but not in that way.

Okay, there's plenty of internships available if my credentials are good enough. But my credentials draw the line at dropping my drawers for some overweight, undersexed perv.

Draw your own conclusions. There, I've said it without any preconceived puns. Okay, now throw your puns in:

1) Why don't Congressmen use bookmarks? They don't have to, they just bend over the pages...