Dude, I knew it!

Neverland Ranch Investigators
discover Real Corpse of Michael Jackson

I knew it. I knew that the creature being tried for child molestation in California could not be the Michael that produced such pop hits as "Rockin' Robin" and "A,B,C, Easy as 1,2,3".

The Michael we know wouldn't have involved himself in this Neverland, Elephant Man, Sensory Deprivation, isolation crap that's been reported in the media.

The Creature That Is Now Michael is the one responsible for all of the cosmetic surgery, so much so that all DNA has been removed in order to prevent positive identification. How else to explain the caricature of the man that remains?

I, for one, will sleep better knowing that it is not really Michael standing trial in California, but a cheap imitation of him who probably will get what he deserves, rather than the pop idol himself.

I can now fully focus my attention on the last remaining mystery. David Hasselhoff.