Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life: We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life

Thursday, February 17, 2005

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming

Sorry, folks, we had some some technical difficulties, and we've been unable to update this site. Several theories have been put forth as to why this has occurred.

Conservatives blame it on liberal, elitist, big government, tax and spend, tree hugging, granola eating, pinko, commie, leftist traitorous moonbats.

Progressives blame it on the right wing, corporate sponsored, fascist, redneck, gun-totin', big business, isolationist, jack booted wingnuts.

Fundamentalists claim it's God's/Allah's punishment for condoning homosexuality, hedonism, other beliefs, infidels, SpongeBob SquarePants, Sandra Bernhardt, and for not giving enough money to the purveyors of the One True Faith.

The Bush administration blames it on Social Security, terrorism, nukular proliferation, the media, Congress, and Bill Clinton's policies.

Tinfoil hat folks know what really happened, but don't think you'll believe them anyway. They recommend you go ask Elvis. He's hanging out at Area 51 with Jim Morrison and Deep Throat.

As a service to our readers, we've had a crack team of experts working diligently around the clock to solve this crisis. After intensive investigation involving top notch forensic labs, reformed hackers, satellite imagery, deep earth core sonograms, psychic mediums, aboriginal shamans, and my Aunt Irma's knee that acts up when it's about to rain, they report that the actual reason for the malfunction is that the janitor unplugged the server to plug in his vacuum cleaner, and forgot to plug it back in.

He's really, really sorry, and promised never to do it again, right before we had him drawn and quartered and fed to our pet dragon. Sparky likes his food in bite-size chunks.


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