Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life: Kinky Thoughts .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Sharpening our wits on the grindstone of Life

Friday, February 04, 2005

Kinky Thoughts

Candidate Friedman sounds off on ...

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

"We're No. 1 in only one thing -- executions. I'm not anti-death penalty. But I'm damn sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed."

EDUCATION
"I think we're 48th in funding for public education. The only states below us are West Virginia, New Mexico and Arkansas. That means Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi are ahead of us. When Mississippi is ahead of you, you've got a problem. I'm worried about Guam slipping ahead of us, too."

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
"People are nervous. They're afraid to say 'Merry Christmas.' Afraid to light up a cigar. We didn't get to be the Lone Star State by being politically correct. America's last stand is Texas . . . I want to take things back to a time when cowboys all sang and their horses were smart. I'm looking to evoke an older, richer spirit of Texas. I'm going to fight this wussification of Texas if I have to do it one wuss at a time."

CAMPAIGN SPENDING
"More than $100 million was spent in the last gubernatorial race by the two candidates for a job that pays $115,000. That smells fishy to most of us. Something is wrong with that picture. I've always said a fool and his money are soon elected. But not this time around. The guy with the most money shouldn't always win."

RELIGION
"I'm not really a charismatic atheist. I have Jesus and Moses in my heart. They were both independents, by the way."

THE GOVERNOR
"If you think Rick Perry is inspiring people, fine. But I think he has failed in the spiritual-lifting department. This governor is, in my opinion, more interested in building golf courses than he is in improving public schools."

CHESS
"Willie [Nelson] and I play, on his [tour] bus, usually. He's very good and very fast. An instinctive player. Of course, you need to wear scuba gear to avoid the second-hand-smoke."

DRUG ABUSE
"Us Jews have had cocaine around for thousands of years. We call it horseradish . . . I admire people who struggle with their demons and conquer them."

WRITING
"Publishing four books in one year is an index of an empty life."

CIGARS
"I believe people who smoke cigars live longer than nonsmokers. When I smoke one, there's that feeling of being above the fray. That will serve me well during the campaign when everybody is running around like a rooster with its head cut off."

(courtesy of David Casstevens)

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